A long-standing vacancy exists for a live-in handywoman and bedmate for a busy, lazy, generous, selfish, shy, middle-aged adolescent with a lot of spare cash and no ties, living near the Surrey/Hampshire border.

You should be aged 30 - 50, fairly slim and at least 5'6" tall. You don't smoke. You dress casually and minimally, never wear make-up or a bra, have no piercings (ears included) and enjoy simple pleasures like country walks, cycle rides, trips abroad, pubs, books, music and stillness.

Nothing kinky will be expected or accepted, just passion, warmth and companionship which could become permanent by mutual agreement. You can read more about me on MySpace, where I am David3264.

Amusing and discursive letters of application, with photographs to prove suitability, will be favourably considered. No one-line "are you for real?" (of course I am!) or "get a life!" type replies please. Thanks for reading, and good luck.

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